— Dave Chapelle
that special mix of the right person loving you, and you loving yourself helps you realize what really matters.
So there’s an article floating around titled (why I date black women), and after reading it I still felt a tad bit odd about it. It was about a conversation the author had at a barbershop with a interracial couple. Of course the white woman slandered us. Of course the black man slandered us. Of course they hid behind the stereotypes of black women. Of course they became color blind, and love became love. Of course we saw The typical dynamics of a white woman who thinks because she swallowed cum, it’s ok to slander us, but beyond this I caught something that has been intriguing. I saw a story that was meant as love , sensationalized and flattened black women. (By no means is this meant to take away from his intentions , it’s just an observation )
Without knowing, The article fell into the trappings of a sensationalized story. Even in the title, it was presented like breaking news black men are preferring to be with black women, check out this phenomenon. And although he furthered delved into the reason behind his title, it made me think back to the mass production of literature and articles like this. These stories that either pity black women , because we aren’t married or desirable , or the ones that are self congratulatory because wow you chose to stay with us, and to me, these things are one in the same. Not so much in the intentions, but in what the actually do, because they not only flatten us by linking our worth to the desirability of men, but also creates this object where we are spoken about , but never speak. We become this topic everyone has studies on, but we are never given the platform to speak, and I felt the argument very much did that .
Not only did it do that , it helped in erasing the negative nature of this white woman. She as a white woman has the privilege to be coveted and considered dainty, and because of that she was able to escape her own viciousness. The woman and the author aided in placing her racist thoughts On her husband. But in my reality, I’ve heard these comments without the supposed opinion of a black men shaping it or dictating it.
You see, These type of articles are always so superficial to me , its watered down propaganda because they never name the problem. Everyone wants to discuss these issues in an esoteric manner , and as a love is the only way solution, and that doesn’t work for me anymore. Black women are spoken about, treated like, and represented like this strategically, and it’s about time we name it. What this scenario and article shows us clearly is a product of a white supremacist patriarchal and capitalist society and that where we start. That should be one of our foundations , whenever we discuss black women especially in terms of desirability .
Eve Arnold, Behind the scenes of Fashion show, Abyssinian Baptist Church, Harlem, 1950
The suns out , I’m ready to garden
Phantom of the Based Opera